The First "Change" That Ever Brought Me Peace...

You might be able to tell by the title of this post...I hate change.
Normally, I fight it...it makes me nervous...worried...
But this past week, I made a change...one you'll probably never expect...
One you probably never saw coming...
And it has brought me more peace than I could have EVER imagined.

Last week was quite a week.  
Never have I been more stressed, worried, and afraid.

Exhaustion and tears filled my week.

My entire life, I have loved working with children.

"You should be a teacher!" people said to me.

I have always love teaching/training people how to do things.

"You should be a teacher!" people said to me.

I have a lot of patience.

"You should be a teacher!" people said to me.

Ok. I guess I'll be a teacher!

People said I'd be good at it.

I liked playing school as a child.

I didn't know what else I should be/do.

I'll be a teacher.

I can handle that.

I never even thought about being anything else.
I never really considered myself very smart or career-oriented.
But I figured I could balance my true love (being a mom and wife) with a teaching career.

As I went through all of my education classes at WGU, I really enjoyed them.

But as I got closer and closer to student teaching...the anxiety started coming.

I kept brushing it off.

I'm sure it will go away as it gets closer I thought.

Friends told me, "You're going to LOVE student teaching!"

It got closer and closer...and the anxiety got worse and worse.

By the time last fall rolled around and I began my pre-clinical observations at the local elementary school...I was literally having panic attacks at the thought of standing in front of a classroom.

The thought of teaching an entire class of kids...dealing with classroom management/discipline...it was overwhelming me.
It wasn't just nerves.
It wasn't the kind of thing that goes away with practice.
I was having SERIOUS DOUBTS about my career choice and degree program.
Did I really even WANT to become a teacher?
Was it REALLY for me?

I LOVE working one-on-one with students.

I LOVE working in small groups of students.

I LOVE working with and helping families.

But the thought of teaching in the classroom kept sending me into full blown panic attacks and it just wasn't something I really looked forward to or could see myself doing.

By the time January rolled around it was really bad.

But I kept telling myself, "You just gotta get through these 12 weeks."

On Monday when my placement specialist told me there was a cancellation in Mattawan that he might be able to slide me into for student teaching...to tell you the honest truth...it wasn't the DRIVE that bothered me so much (an hour away).  It wasn't the fact that it was FIFTH GRADE that bothered me so much (I adore the younger kiddos).  Although NEITHER of those were appealing.  It was the fact that I'd be standing in front of the classroom teaching.  I was terrified.  And I honestly just didn't want to do it!  As it turned out, door after door kept closing with various student teaching placement options.  I didn't know whether to be discouraged or rejoice, honestly.

Hubby and I talked and talked and talked all week long deciding what I should do.  I had been praying and soul-searching.  My heart just wasn't in teaching anymore.

I was enrolled in the BAISK8 program (bachelor of arts interdisciplinary studies k-8) which leads to state certification/licensure for teaching.  I later found out there was another program called BAES (bachelor of arts educational studies).  The only difference in the BAES program was, in the last semester instead of doing student teaching and applying for a state teaching certificate, there are additional classes and a culminating graduation research project/senior thesis to be completed.  The BAES program does not lead to a teaching certificate.  It is a more broad/generalized education degree.  When I thought about the BAES program, I'd have complete peace in my heart.  When I'd go back to the BAISK8 program, the anxiety, panic attacks, and doubt came back. I was in tears trying to decide what to do.  I talked to my adviser.  She had told me that generally one is not allowed to change programs mid-term.  So I poured out my heart and told her everything I had been experiencing and she said, "Let me make some phone calls."

I spoke with my adviser again the next day and found out we had been granted permission to change my program!  Her manager made the necessary changes and I have changed my program to the BAES (bachelor of arts educational studies) program.  I will not be teaching.  I have done soul-searching and come to the conclusion that I honestly don't want to teach in the elementary classroom.  I will not regret my decision.  I did a lot of research and looked at all of the possibilities of career choices I can enter with the BAES degree.  There is a broad range of career options that appeal to me!  At this point in my life...what I have wanted more than anything, was the actual accomplishment of graduating college and earning my degree.  I wanted to be able to say, "I DID IT!"  It wasn't that I wanted to honestly be a teacher.  I wanted that DEGREE and COLLEGE EDUCATION more than anything!  I wanted to be able to say, "I'M SMARTER THAN I THOUGHT!"  "I DID IT!"  So I'm proud to say, in May I will have my degree!  I am going to have to work even harder the next four months because I lost two months while they were searching for my placement.  But I CAN DO IT!  I will GET THAT DEGREE AND GRADUATE!  I am planning to stay at Gentex while I finish and until I find another career path that I will enjoy.  I love Gentex and am so grateful for the friends I've made there and all they've done for me since I closed my daycare.  I did some job searching already for different positions that would fit my BAES degree. I found positions with corporate training, educational programs in hospitals, children/family services, educational director for museums, camps, parks, zoos, director in early childhood programs, writing/editing curriculum...and if I want to be in the schools, there are a lot of non-certified jobs I can do.  I found LOADS of jobs/career paths that this other degree would fit and it really excites me that I have so many more options!

This past week was awful.

The entire time I prayed...I prayed that the RIGHT doors would OPEN and the WRONG doors would CLOSE.

Every placement for student teaching ended up closing.  And the BAES program which I wasn't supposed to be allowed to switch into now...OPENED!

I have such peace in my heart now.

God speaks to us in different ways.  For me, I know when God speaks and answers by the peace I feel in my heart.  For all those months I was experiencing anxiety, panic attacks and doubt, I knew things weren't right. There were times I was crying out to God saying, "Where are you Lord? What do I do? I need help and answers!"  He always placed the right people in my path, verses to cling to, sermons to listen to, and songs to hear.  I am so grateful to the Lord for always being with me.  He never leaves us or forsakes us.

I am also so grateful for the amazing university I go to and the staff who have helped and supported me in my academic journey.  They are the most supportive people and truly want to see students succeed.  I am so excited about graduation and we're even thinking about making the trip to the ceremony!  We shall see!
Thanks so much to everyone who has supported and prayed for me thus far!
Love you all!

Signing off for now!

#WGU #nightowl 

Melody

2017 Wrapped Up In One Post...

I did it again.

I'm one of "those' bloggers.

The ones who walk away from their blogs and leave them hanging without any explanation.

I abandoned "Melody's Muse" for an entire year.

How did that happen?!?!

Well...I at least owe the year of 2017 one post.

So here goes...

It was a good year.

A busy year.

In March I attended our church's ladies conference "She Is Brave."

It was awesome.

I donated a gift basket of cookies for a door prize.

Amazingly enough, the gal who won the basket was from another church and we were able to become friends!

Love how God works!

In May, we went to Tulip Time as usual.

Gotta go downtown to see the gorgeous tulips, Dutch Dancers, and get some amazing greasy fair food!

Mom, Jess, and I always manage to squeeze in a Girls Day Out a couple times a year.

We LOVE our thrift stores!

We always stop for lunch and coffee or a smoothie too.

BTW...I think it's time for another...hmmm...right girls?

This year, I was so privileged and honored to teach "Projects With A Purpose" at our Vacation Bible School.

It was a really fun time that I enjoyed so much.

A lot of kids!

I was nervous, but it was so much fun.

We didn't finish our projects...and I felt really bad about that.

But I think the kiddos had a great time regardless.

 In July, we made our annual trip to Mackinac Island.

"Don't you ever get tired of going to the same spot for vacation?" people always ask.

NEVER!

Mackinac is in our heart.

It's a part of us.

I would be so sad if we weren't able to go each year.

I love our yearly trips!

We have the best time.

Toward the end of summer, we made a trip to Chicago with the boys.

We took the train from Michigan City and headed down.

It was a great time.

We did some shopping, and lots of eating, and even more walking.

It was great.

In September, my dad celebrated his 70th birthday!

How did that happen?

He's still a spring chicken!

We love having mom and dad closer to us in Grand Haven now.

We get to see them a lot more.

It's great.

Jam and I made one more trip back to Mackinac in the fall.

Just the two of us.

It was fun.

The trees were gorgeous.

The colors were so vibrant.

Just amazing.

This is my friend Veronica and her daughter.

This fall I did my first cookie decorating lesson at her house.

We had a great time together.

Did you know you can still make sugar cookie (roll-outs) without a rolling pin?

DON'T ASK.

But you can, hehehe!

In October, we participated in our church's trunk-or-treat.

It was a storybook theme.

We did Dr. Seuss' Cat In The Hat.

We had a great time.

Soooooo many kids!

In December I enjoyed helping out decorate the church for Christmas.

I have so loved getting more involved at our church the last couple years.

It's the best.

December brought our annual ladies Christmas tea..

What a great event.

It's always so beautiful.

This was my second year hosting a table.

It was a lot of fun.

 We celebrated Christmas this year at mom and dad's new place for the first time.

We had a great time with loads of food, crazy games, and gifts.

From our family to yours, we hope 2018 is full of health and happiness!

God bless!

Summer In Review...

 P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.

Yes.  You have every right to call me a pathetic blogger.

I got to looking and I have only posted two...TWO...posts for 2016!!!

That's right!

But...I'm making each post "combo" posts...catching you up, months at a time.

Forgive me?

Good.

Let's start with the first picture!

In June, we celebrated Evan's birthday.

Two decades.

How in the world did that happen?

He is such a blessing.

He's a junior in college now.

Holds down a job.

Bought a car.

Proud much?

Yeah...just a little. ;)

 Not sure if I shared this one.

But I made a fairy garden!

I love it!

And it was so much fun to create, I want to make more!

 We also went to hubby's company picnic held at the fairgrounds.

 We had a great time.

They had a catered picnic with bbq pulled pork, chicken, hotdogs, cole slaw, chips, melon, corn on the cob, cookies, and pop.

We played bingo for prizes (didn't win)...it was a lot of fun.

 They gave us fair dollars for yummy fair food!

 We're not much for rides...

 But we had a blast looking at all of the animals...

Cows, horses, donkeys, pigs, bunnies, chickens, roosters, turtles, goats, sheep, camel.

It was a hoot.

 Then there was the photo booth, LOL!

We could NOT get it right, haha!

We barely fit in and none of us were looking at the camera at the same time.

It was hilarious.

 The boys and I went to Coast Guard Fest in Grand Haven with my sis and niece.

 My nephew is in a bucket drum band and is amazing!

They performed each night.

 In August, the four of us went back to Mackinac Island.

We spent one night in Mackinaw City and toured the retired Icebreaker Mackinaw, which is something we'd never done.

 It was very interesting...

...and a lot of fun!

 It rained that afternoon and evening...so the boys didn't get their beach time in.

So they settled for the indoor pool!

Fun!

Next day, we headed for the island...
Me and the hubs at the Grand phone booth!

Relaxing after a long day of hiking...

 We spent one day on the island biking.

We took the 8 mile perimeter.

Stopped at British Landing for fried pickles at the Cannon Ball.

 We had some drizzle on one day on the island, but we don't let it stop us!

We grab our umbrellas and keep going!

 As always, the flowers were amazing.

 Evan has always wanted to kayak.

So he and Nate took a one hour tour with Great Turtle tours.

They had a blast.

I was too chicken.

But after I saw some 8 year olds doing it alone (with the guide)...I decided I better get my booty out there next time!

And lastly, we celebrated Nate's 16th birthday.

My sweet boy is a sophomore this year!

He's in no hurry to drive and tells me he's going to live in New York City so he can just take a taxi everywhere, LOL!

Love that boy!

Well today is Labor Day...which means it's Back To School for all Michigan kids tomorrow!

I hope you all had an amazing summer!

TTFN!

Mackinaw City/Mackinac Island...July 2016

The boys humored me with a photo by the bear at the Crossings.

 Last year, for the first time in a LONG time, we didn't go to Mackinac Island over July 4th.

We missed it so much!

So we knew we had to go back this 4th!

We spent our first night of our vacation in Mackinaw City.

On day 1, we spent a little time shopping at the Crossings and along Main St.

Then we spent a little time at the beach.

The boys love going out into the lake and playing in the waves.

I enjoy just sitting in a lounge chair catching a few rays.

I did pretty good and only managed a few little streaks of sunburn where I missed applying my SPF, haha.

 You have to stop at Mickey's for ice cream while in the City.

Only $3.00 for a HUGE "single" dip, which is really TWO HUGE scoops of two different flavors on an enormous waffle cone!

 Next day, we woke up and caught an early ferry to the Island.

We stayed at the Main Street Inn.

It's lovely.

Clean, friendly, and many amenities!

 We always enjoy the morning coffee and cucumber water in the hallway.

 Our room was spacious, clean, and comfortable.

 And each night, you get turn-down service with a fudge treat from Joann's!

 Another favorite of ours, on a hot day, is a stop at Lucky Bean for smoothies.

Personally I like either the mango or the lemonade smoothie.

Jam and Nate on the Arch Rock staircase.

 We hiked all over.

And made stops at all of our favorite places, like Arch Rock...

 And Sugar Loaf...

 And Ft. Holmes...

My niece Raegan and I at Arch Rock.

 On Monday, my sister and her family came up for a few days!

 My sissy and I at Arch Rock.

 We had dinner together on the 4th at The Pink Pony.

 We took our favorite Fireworks Cruise aboard Shepler's Ferry.

I always pack glow bracelets and necklaces for us, haha!

 My happy little fam aboard the boat!

 They take you under the Mighty Mac bridge.

It's a fun experience before the fireworks begin.

Raegan, Me, and Jess...

 Another night, we all played golf together!

 Golfing...

We all stacked some rocks near the lake...that was fun.

And we had a family game night.

What a riot!

We had a great time with perfect weather.

Can't wait to go back!

What has your family been doing this summer?