Closure...Peace...

In times of loss...

You learn who your true friends are.

And something I've learned...is that "animal loving friends" are the best kind of friends.

I have received more love and support from other "animal people" than I ever could have imagined.  Some of these kind people, I don't even know.  They reached out to me in comments on a blog I follow.  People I just considered "acquaintances" wrote tributes to my sweet kitty.  Love has been shown in so many ways.

I struggled for days with guilt and depression over the decision that had to be made.

But on Sunday, we had a really good discussion as a family.

We finally had closure and peace during this conversation.

I finally felt...peace.

I still feel sadness and loss...when I see his bowl or a toy...

But the guilt and depression has moved on.

In time, I will put away his things.

I will keep out some photos/momentos.

It's all a process.

And I do believe...after our period of mourning...one day...we may open our hearts and home to another.

There are far too many out there that do not have homes filled with love.

And I know we can provide that for one of them.

So to those who comforted me, supported me, shared with me...
I say thank-you.

It's been a difficult path...but I know with time...the healing process will continue

I love you sweet Oreo Flower!

You will FOREVER be in our hearts sweet boy!

My "Angel" Kitty...

My heart is broken.

I have found refuge only in sleep.

A piece of me is gone.

The hardest part is...he was fine.

We thought we'd take him to the vet and he'd come home with antibiotics.

We didn't think we'd be signing papers to have him cross The Rainbow Bridge.

My heart is empty.  My home is empty.

He is everywhere in our home...his bed, is bowl, his snacks, his toys...he is everywhere I look...except where he SHOULD be...in my lap.

It's quiet and empty.

No one running to sneak into my bedroom when I open the door.

No one jumping on my lap when I sit down.

No one "helping" me fold laundry in the hallway.

No one waiting for a nibble of ham when I make the boys lunches.

No one sitting at the top of the stairway when I wake up to greet me.

No one at the entrance when I come in, stretching from a nap, ready to greet me.

How did this happen?

He was here.

And now he's gone.

We had no time to mentally or emotionally prepare for this.

He wasn't showing signs of illness.

We thought he'd be coming back home with us.

We didn't think we'd be going back and spending his final moments, crying together.

I never thought I'd get this attached to an animal.

He wasn't "just a pet".

He was my sweet baby.

Daily tasks are so difficult...

EVERY minute of the day involved a routine with kitty in some small way...

which is something I never even realized.

He was always there.

I feel...

Deep sadness.

Emptiness.

Lost.

He's supposed to be here.

Maybe had "something" been going on a long time (symptoms), we'd have had time to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for this.

But we didn't.

I didn't see it coming.

And I'm lost.

And heartbroken.

I miss my kitty-boy.

They say time heals all wounds...but right now...I feel nothing but raw pain.

I love you and miss you terribly sweet Oreo.

Have fun with Pouncie as you cross The Rainbow Bridge...

Cast-Free!

Wow.

That four weeks went fast!

Even Nate thought so!

Happy to report he is now cast-free!

Woot woot!

Doctor said it will now take about a month for the bone to continue the healing process.

While it is continuing to heal, no roughhousing, contact sports, or anything that would cause him to fall.

I don't think we have to worry about that.

He is thrilled to have his arm back and thinks it feels "weird" and "so light" without the cast.

In the meantime, I'm thinking the boy will never attempt rollerskating again, ha!

And that's just fine by me! 

Proud Momma Moment (Evan)...

Just a quick post to have a little "proud momma moment".

I received an e-mail a couple weeks ago from my son's student teacher in his Senior English class.  I didn't recognize the name at first (as he's a student teacher) and the subject line read: "Evan".  I didn't quite know what to expect and wondered what in the world it was.

The e-mail read:

Hi Mrs. James,

Just wanted to send a quick email to let you know how great Evan has been doing in his English class recently. I sent a "positive referral" to the school administration today, telling them:

 I've been seeing Evan's confidence rise substantially in English class. He's always clearly understood the reading and the material, but lately he has really begun making stellar contributions to class discussions, both formal and informal. He is even periodically raising his hand to answer questions or offer insight, which is really helpful for the vitality of our class discussions. Evan is such a positive presence to have during 6th Hour.

Anyways, just thought you'd like to know! No need to write back or anything, just trying to spread a good word.

Wow!  What a way to make a momma feel good!  Well I congratulated my son on a job well done and thought nothing more of it.  Today, several weeks later, my son gets home from school and hands me this certificate!  Again WOW!  I didn't even know they gave out "Outstanding Leadership Awards".  Wasn't even aware of it.  Evidently this teacher's submission of that e-mail led to this award!  So proud of you Evan!  You ARE a great leader and such a positive role model to others!

Love you!

Mom

Seriously...Does ANYONE'S hair grow as slow as mine? (Growing Out The Pixie)

 Seriously...

Does ANYONE'S hair grow as slow as mine?

I've followed other bloggers on their "pixie journey" and it does NOT seem to go this slow for them.  What in the world?  See...this is usually the point I always get to, when growing out my hair, that I quit...and go have it chopped off again, figuring I am destined to be a "short hair gal".

 You'll notice in this post...a difference from previous posts...my hair is considerably darker.

I'd like to tell you that I did it on purpose (to break up the monotony of growing it out)...but I didn't.  I always color myself...and I've bought this color before...but either they changed the formula...or I must have bought a different brand.  It turned out QUITE a bit darker than I expected.  However, I'm not one to cry over spilled milk...or darker hair...I embraced the change and told everyone I wanted something different, haha!

 What I "DID" do on purpose to break up the monotony, was, over the weekend I went curly (natural).  As I've shared before, I always "thought" I had straight as a board hair...but my stylist told me that my hair is quite the opposite actually.  She said that I have "a lot" of natural wave going on.  So after I shampooed, I put some mousse in, scrunched it, and let it air-dry instead of blow-drying.  Sure enough...

 She was right!

WAVES!
When my hair is longer, there are A LOT of waves going on.  It's hard to tell in these pictures because there's not a lot of hair to "wave out".  However, had I taken pictures of the back, there are QUITE A LOT of waves going on.

 And here we are back to "straight"...the way I pretty much always style it.

We are finally "just below the ear" level.  Starting to hit "mid-cheek".

(sigh)

Could this process be any slower?

The good thing is...is that I have my sister.

She's going through this same journey with me right now.

And her pixie was considerably shorter than mine at the starting point.

Sooo...she's just a tad bit behind me on the growth process.

So...wish me luck...because I'm getting REALLY antsy wanting to cut it.

But I will NOT...I will PERSEVERE!  Ha!

Four Weeks...(Permanent Cast)

And...we have the permanent cast now!

It's looking like four weeks...which is great because it will be off before our trip to Tennessee!

Hurray!

In the meantime, he can't play his clarinet in the band, so Mr. G said he will probably be able to help out the percussion line.

Nate is excited about learning something new for the next four weeks.

So far, there hasn't been a lot of pain (very minimal) and he's adjusting nicely.

The biggest struggles have been finding clothes that work...

Finding winter shirts that fit around it are tricky.

And the biggest challenge it buttons on his jeans!

He's pretty much decided to wear sweats and track pants to school for the next month.

Poor kid...don't want him stuck at school not able to get his pants buttoned or unbuttoned, LOL!

All in all...he's doing great!

My Baby Broke His Arm...

 Yeah...so this was a first in our house.

We can be a clumsy bunch...but we've NEVER had any broken bones, stitches, or injuries that require trips to the hospital.

But today, Nate had a school field trip.

They went rollerskating and bowling.

Nate's not a seasoned skater, but does ok going slow and taking his time.

But you know how it can be when experienced skaters start flying around you...you get nervous...and sometimes fall down.

Well Nate fell.

And fell bad.

The crazy part was...how he toughed it out!

His friend came over and asked if he was ok and Nate blew it off and said, "I'll be ok."

Well his friend insisted that he get some ice at the concession stand, and so they did.

His friend persisted and said, "Do you want me to tell a teacher?"

Nate insisted he'd be ok.  He brushed it off.

He went on to eat his pizza lunch AND go bowling!

(Thankfully with the other hand!)

When my hubby went to pick him up, the pain really start setting in.

When he got home, I looked at his arm.

It was completely swollen and there was a big "bump"/knot on the underside.

Immediately, hubby and I said, "You need an x-ray."

So hubby took him to the ER.

Sure enough, not only was it BROKEN, but it was broke in TWO spots.

(sigh)

So he he now has a temporary cast on.  He will see an orthopedic specialist on Monday and they will give him a permanent cast.  The whole experience just broke my heart.

I felt so bad for him.

He seems to be doing really well though.

I can't believe how he managed to get through the entire day with a broken arm!

Poor baby!

So we've made sure to spoil him this evening.

We had pizza for dinner, he's been lounging on the couch watching tv with kitty, and Instagramming with his friends, soaking up all of the attention, LOL!

Hang in there little buddy!

I love you!

Hair Progress...(Growing Out The Pixie)

 Yes, "ANOTHER" hair post.

But I have to do these for myself.

If I don't document the progress on my hair...

I'll give up.

 And this is the stage where I ALWAYS give up.

That horrible ugly "in between" stage.

It's not "short" and it's not "long".

It's difficult to style.

Because there IS NO STYLE.

 But...if you look at the very first picture in the top collage of my "starting point"...there is DEFINITELY progress.

 It's just hard...because I want a "definite" style.

And there isn't one yet.

But it's definitely growing!

 And for anyone out there growing out your short hair...I highly recommend taking Biotin supplements.  It REALLY helps.

 And so for now...I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

Rocking the hair clips, flowers, and headbands.

(sigh)

 Hang in there if you're growing your hair out with me!

We can do this!

It will all be worth it in the end!

Month 6 Of Growing Out The Pixie...

Ok...so here we are...Month 6.

This is what your hair looks like when you go TOO long without a trim.

This is what happens when you are snowed in for two weeks and put off your haircut. 

My hair is looking really shaggy and unkempt right now.

However...this does give a really good indication of how much it's been growing. 

Even from Month 5 to Month 6 there is QUITE a bit of difference!

That is the whole reason I am taking pictures and putting them on this collage...

So that "I" can see the progress.

Every time I cut my hair short, and then decide to grow it back out...I give up.

But I am not going to do it this time.

I'm using my BioSilk shampoo, conditioner, and treatment.

I'm using Healthy Sexy Hair Soy Renewal.

I'm taking Biotin supplements.

I think it's all working!

I'm headed in for a "mullet trim" today.

Gotta get that shag off my neck.

Trying to work on evening out the back with the sides!

We're getting there!

Frozen and Buried...

 We ventured out to the mall last night to look for a shirt and tie for my son's upcoming WinterFest dance at school.  We pulled into the parking lot and my youngest son said, "Where's the mall?"  No joke.  The mounds of snow are SO big and SO high that you literally couldn't see the mall from your car.  My hubby said, "They could literally film a movie here and people would think they were in the arctic."  It was a very weird feeling.  It was so dark and dreary...and the snow started coming down again...the wind picked up.  All of this snow and frigid wind chills (-20s and -30s)...it's really starting to get to people.

 A client of mine said, "You know, I consider myself a pretty positive upbeat person.  But this is really starting to get to me."

 It's just day in and day out.

 It has snowed EVERY...SINGLE...day.

 The wind chills have been anywhere from -12 to -30 over the past couple weeks.

 You can't go ONE day without plowing, snowblowing, or shoveling your driveway.

 You just can't catch a break.

 I have always said that I don't mind winter because I work from home.

I don't have to fight traffic or worry about the bad road conditions.

 But I have to say...it's even starting to get to me a little too.

 I mean, it's a major chore just to run an errand.

 I've been putting off a haircut for weeks because I don't want to get out in the mess.

Well...as they say...this too shall pass.

I'm just counting the days until my little spring getaway to the south.

We'll make it through this together!