If I go missing...due to anxiety, panic, or flat out heart failure...

I'm making another cake.

Yes.

I started my cake decorating journey last summer.

It probably isn't the best hobby for someone as high-strung and dependant on perfectionism like me.

But I'm doing it none the less.

I took and completed the first Wilton Basics class.

And am waiting till this next summer to take the next two, hopefully.

Anyway...

Next week, I will be baking my first triple layer graduated heart shape cake.

I invited the whole family over for dinner and cake to celebrate mom's and my birthday.

Cleaning the house, preparing dinner...

And...

Baking and decorating a cake.

Probably NOT a good combo for me.

I stress as it is when someone is coming over because I want my house perfectly spotless.

I stress when cooking someone a meal, wanting it to taste absolutely perfect.

And now...

I've added the stress of trying something new.

A stacked cake.

I am already stressing thinking about it.

Praying it turns out beautiful.

I am trying to shake it all off...take a deep breath...and have fun with it.

But...

I am a perfectionist.

I want things perfect.

I aim to be the perfect mom.

Perfect wife.

Perfect housekeeper.

Perfect cook.

Perfect person.

I am not.

Ever.

Any of these.

And so I continue to disappoint myself daily.

But...

If we don't ever set goals or try new things...

We can never reach them, right?

When the family gets here,

I know my house will not be perfectly spotless.

I know the meal won't be gourmet.

I KNOW BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THIS CAKE IS GOING TO BE...

Full of little mishaps.

I'm only hoping and praying...

That "I" will be the only one to know that they even happened.

That is will look beautiful...

And taste even better...
To everyone else.

So...

If I go missing...

You hear more screaming...

Slamming doors...

Crying...

Or an all out panic/anxiety attack happens...

You'll know why.

The cake was a flop.

I didn't get the house cleaned.

And dinner was either burnt or not cooked properly.

SO...
Stay tuned...

I'll give you an update at the end of the month.

And if the cake is pretty in any way, shape, or form...

I'll post a picture, LOL!