My heart is broken.
I have found refuge only in sleep.
A piece of me is gone.
The hardest part is...he was fine.
We thought we'd take him to the vet and he'd come home with antibiotics.
We didn't think we'd be signing papers to have him cross The Rainbow Bridge.
My heart is empty. My home is empty.
He is everywhere in our home...his bed, is bowl, his snacks, his toys...he is everywhere I look...except where he SHOULD be...in my lap.
It's quiet and empty.
No one running to sneak into my bedroom when I open the door.
No one jumping on my lap when I sit down.
No one "helping" me fold laundry in the hallway.
No one waiting for a nibble of ham when I make the boys lunches.
No one sitting at the top of the stairway when I wake up to greet me.
No one at the entrance when I come in, stretching from a nap, ready to greet me.
How did this happen?
He was here.
And now he's gone.
We had no time to mentally or emotionally prepare for this.
He wasn't showing signs of illness.
We thought he'd be coming back home with us.
We didn't think we'd be going back and spending his final moments, crying together.
I never thought I'd get this attached to an animal.
He wasn't "just a pet".
He was my sweet baby.
Daily tasks are so difficult...
EVERY minute of the day involved a routine with kitty in some small way...
which is something I never even realized.
He was always there.
I feel...
Deep sadness.
Emptiness.
Lost.
He's supposed to be here.
Maybe had "something" been going on a long time (symptoms), we'd have had time to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for this.
But we didn't.
I didn't see it coming.
And I'm lost.
And heartbroken.
I miss my kitty-boy.
They say time heals all wounds...but right now...I feel nothing but raw pain.
I love you and miss you terribly sweet Oreo.
Have fun with Pouncie as you cross The Rainbow Bridge...
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