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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

ADD...I HATE YOU.

ADD...I hate you.
No one would've ever guessed.
I, myself would've never guessed.
Most people, when they hear the word "ADD" they think of hyper-active, disobedient, wild children.
I personally thought ADD was a "label"...a "cop-out" if you will for naughty kids.
I thought medications were for parents looking to "drug their kids into calmness".

Boy, was I wrong.

In middle school, my oldest son started struggling with his schoolwork.
Oh, he still made the honor roll each term.
He got all As and Bs.
But every night was a struggle with him and my husband.
My husband yelling because he thought our son wasn't paying attention...
And our son, staring out the window, off into space, or losing focus every few minutes.
My husband would have to reteach everything our son was supposed to have learned at school that day.  We thought it was bad teachers.
By 8th grade, we thought it was our son being lazy.

By spring of 8th grade, a friend talked to me about ADD.
I read a book.
It discribed my son in detail.
By 9th grade, the struggles continued and we knew something had to be done.
Could our son have ADD?

"No"...his teachers said..."He's so quiet, so well behaved, he gets good grades."
"No"...we said...he's so mellow, so laid-back, such a good boy, so calm.
But I talked with the guidance counselor who told me I should talk to our family doctor.
We were referred to a psychologist for testing.

After a VERY long and VERY extensive testing procedure which took over two months...
We found out that he DID indeed have ADD.
Not the "hyper-activity" aspect...but a very severe case of distractability, lack of focus, and memory issues.
He was a prime candidate for Concerta the psychologist told us.
By the way...I LOVED our pyschologist.
Not one to jump the gun and label kids or drug them up.
But in our case, Evan DID need some medication.
And I was ok with that.

No one could believe he had it.
Because he's so "good",  so "calm", so "well-behaved".

We still struggle.
We don't know if he's on the right dosage.
He is great about DOING his homework each day.
It's just remembering to TURN IT IN...that causes issues.
Right then and there...that gives him a "MISSING" or "LATE" mark.
And he still continues to get good grades...mostly As and Bs.
But sometimes he'll struggle in a particular class if a teacher's style of teaching doesn't mesh with his learning style.
It's so tiring EXHAUSTING reteaching lessons, going through his binders, asking him daily if he has any quizes, tests, or projects coming up.
And he still forgets.
The memory issue is causing great struggles for him.
We have tried every technique I can think of for him to remember things.
Nothing yet has worked.
He forgets he has a test...and then...boom.
There goes that grade.
And we spend all term having to recover to bring that grade back up to an A or B level.
And usually he does recover.
I have to explain to every teacher (usually multiple times a year because they forget) about his condition.
Many are very helpful and will e-mail me assignments, quiz dates, etc.
Many simply don't care.
I feel awful that I labeled him "lazy" before his diagnosis.
He's not the most motivated, but with encouragment and support, he's an awesome student.
We are working hard to help him stay organized and focused.

I just wish the teachers understood how severe his condition is.
I just wish they understood how involved we are in his education.
I just with they knew how much we care and want the best for him.

And I say all this to say...

ADD...
I HATE YOU!!!

You have caused so much pain, exhaustion, and frustration for my son!!!

You have literally worn myself and my husband out!!!

You are a disease that so many people don't even understand and think we use as a cop-out!!!

I refuse to make my son a victim to you!
I refuse to give him special treatment!



He WILL succeed!
He CAN succeed!
ALL ADD children can succeed with the proper guidance from parents and teachers.

I will FIGHT to the death for my son!
When teachers don't care.
When he struggles.
You will NOT take hold of him!

You are a MEDICAL CONDITION!!!
You are NOT a LABEL or a COP-OUT!!!
We will NOT play VICTIM to you!!!

My son is SMART!

And we will always do our best to leave your nasty name
OUT OF OUR HOME!

Because we are OVERCOMERS through Christ who gives us strength!



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