Melody's Muse: It doesn't take a genious...but it does take willingness to think on your own.

Parenting.

It doesn't take a genious.

It does take some common sense though.

The other day, a younger mom than myself, with three small children said, "The other day G____ was having a major meltdown! A huge tantrum! Her brother has never done that! I didn't know what to do! I wondered what Dr. Dobson would say. I wondered what the pediatrician would say."

Ok mom...you are twenty-eight years old, you have three children, you are college educated, you are a God-fearing christian woman, and very intelligent.

What do YOU think you should do?

Personally, I have NEVER been one to "ask the experts".

I really don't CARE what doctors, psychologists, authors, etc. have to say.

THEY don't know MY child.

They can give opinions, quote the results to studies, and go by national averages.

But they don't know MY child.

They don't know what is best for my child.

This same mom was then talking to me about her baby the next day.

"I don't know why she won't sleep during the day. And she stays up so late at night. I better ask the pediatrician why."

Ok mom. Maybe she's not tired.

Maybe she doesn't require as much sleep as your other two children did.

I am NOT saying that we need to go about parenting COMPLETELY on our own.

When there is a medical issue, OF COURSE we take our children to the doctor. We ask questions. We make sure their health is taken care of.

But when it comes to the day to day things like...

Eating and sleeping, chores, playing, social skills, discipline...

God gave us all intelligence.

He gave us all common sense.

All we have to do is...
USE IT.

I have never been one to ask the "parenting forums and groups".

I don't feel the need to "find out from friends" what they do.

Personally, I don't care WHAT other people do.

I don't care what the so called "experts" think.

I have been given intelligence and common sense by God and I use it!

I live by God's Word.

That is my guide book in life.

I don't need parenting books and magazines (not that I haven't read them).

I don't need to call the doctor (unless it's a medical issue).

If my child won't eat his carrots...I really don't make an issue of it!

I say, "Try two bites."

They do it.

Game over.

We try a new veggie next time!

They don't want to pick up their toys?

Fine, no other toys come out until those are picked up.

Don't want to do your homework?

Loss of technology (video games, computer, iPods, phones).

I can tell you this too...I've never even made it to the consequence stage with my boys!

They know what's expected of them...they know what happens if they don't do it.

It's that simple!

I lay it out...they know what they need to do...they don't want a consequence...so they do it!

Gee, that's tough.

To me, it's common sense.

I didn't need to ask my mom.

I didn't need to ask my friend.

I didn't need to look it up in a book.

I didn't need to ask my doctor.

We have house rules...we have consequences laid out if they're not followed.

Do my kids think I'm mean?

Nope.

They don't.

They know they have responsibilities.

I will say it's easier now that they're older (15 and 11) because I can reason with them.

I won't say things were this easy when they were toddlers.

Did we have meltdowns?

Yes. Did I give in and let them do what they wanted?

NO.

Them + Meltdown = Leaving

Whether we were in a restaurant, store, outing, etc.

Even then.

It's common sense.

You don't give in to a meltdown with a toddler/preschool child.

They learn what's expected.

They melt down.

You leave.

I always spoke in a firm, but calm voice...wrapped my arms around them in an embrace/hug...gradually speaking softer and softer...calming and soothing them until they stopped.

We then talked about their behavior and why it wasn't acceptable and why we had to leave the locataion.

There are not many things that I feel I'm good at in life.

In fact, I have a really low self-esteem and don't accept compliements well.

But...

There is one thing, that's I've always felt good at.

One thing I've always felt equipped for.

One thing that I feel I've never had to question my knowlege or ability in.

What is it you ask?

PARENTING.

I don't feel good at anything in life really.

Every hobby, job, activity, sport I've ever tried...I'm no good at.

I'm a complete flop.