Scales and calories and fat grams...oh my!!!

I'm not sure just when it exactly started.
It wasn't even after my children were born.
I left the hospital after Evan was born weighing one pound LESS than my pre-pregnancy weight!
With Nate it took me a good three or four months to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight...but I was good with that. They always says it's harder the second time.
So when DID it begin?
When did my metabolism so drastically slow down?
When did I start packing on the pounds so easily?
When did I have to stop eating everything I wanted and as much as I wanted?
I am so tired of always thinking about everything I put in my mouth.
I'm so tired of always worrying, "Will these jeans still fit?" "Will these shorts still fit?"
I'm tired of always dreading trying on new clothes when I shop for fear that I may have went up a size.
I'm tired of always looking at box labels and package labels and wondering how many calories, carbs, and fat grams are in the food.
What I'm even MORE tired of...is OTHER PEOPLE telling me how many calories, carbs, and fat grams are in my food!!!
Did I ask you?
No.
If I want to know...I'll be happy to ask for your assistance.
Right now, I'd like to enjoy my 44 ounce Cherry Limeade from Sonic.
Right now, I'd like to enjoy my medium Frappe from McDonald's.
Right now, I don't want you to even ask how many pieces of pizza I had.
Right now, I don't really care if I ate more potato chips than I should have.
The sad thing is...I really do care. (I just don't need others pointing it out!)
I'm so tired of trying to have the perfect body. I've become a little obsessive. Not to the point of doing anything drastic...or much at ALL for that matter, LOL! But it's just ALWAYS on my mind!!!
I shouldn't be eating those potato chips, that pizza, that candy bar, that slushie, that frappe.
I love fruits and vegetables. I love chicken and fish.
And I have no problem eating any of it.
My problem lies with snacking on junk food.
And my other problem lies with hating exercise.
Honestly...it doesn't have to be all that bad. I really did enjoy going to Contours Express for those two years. I lost 12 pounds not even trying! The muscle really does burn fat and I was so toned up! But their hours are not very work and family friendly. And then there's the cost. I'd love to have a walking buddy. But don't even ask about that. Then there's my knees that flair up every time I start running and walking. That makes for discouragement too.
(sigh)
What's a girl to do?
According to my doctor and everything I've read...I'm TECHNICALLY not even over-weight for my height. I weigh exactly what I should (even though I'd really love to still take off 10 pounds). My problem is just my middle...my tummy...it's so squishy it's sickening.
If I could just dedicate myself to doing crunches like I should it would probably even take care of itself without even dieting. But then there's my shoulder/back problems.
(sigh)
Can't a girl get a break?
Society has put waaaaaaaay too much pressure on us to look like Victoria's Secret models. It's really hard on the self-esteem.
No one puts any pressure on me. No one.
It's all myself. Just me.
I have always wanted the perfect body.
But then again...why stop with the stomach...I hate my nose, back/shoulders, hair, and so many other things.
I need to just stop complaining and be grateful for what I do have.
Good health.
In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
(1 Thessalonians 5:18).