Determined...

Determined...
Yes, that is what I am.
I am determined...
I am on a mission.
A mission to find it...
It?  You may ask...
"What I'm good at".
I try everything.
A little of this...
A little of that...
I dabble here...
I dabble there...
But I never excel at anything.
Scrapbooking?
Yes.  I do it.
Good at it?
Nope...
So so...yep.
Stamping?
Yes.  I do it.
Good at it?
Nope...
So so...yep.
Piano.
Yes.  I play.
Good at it?
Nope...
So so...yep.
Gardening?
Yes. I do it.
Good at it?
Nope...
So so...yep.
I'll try anything.
There are many things I love!
But I'm just not good at anything!
I love hair, nails, make-up, fashion...
Am I good at it?
NOOOOOO!
People say I'm a good friend...
Well none of them seem to stick around for me after I've been there for them!
And ya can't get paid to be a good friend!
I'm looking for a new direction in life...a new career preferably.
Monday, I will start cake decorating classes.
I am praying THIS WILL BE IT!!!
I've wanted to do it for years.
Praying I will be good.
Praying I will be great!
Praying THIS will be my niche!
Will it be?
I need this.
I need something.
I need to have a calling.
Something I'm great at.
To find my true talent.
I want to build a new business.
I would love it if it were this.
I covet any and all prayers if you're reading this.
I can't stand this "not good enough" at anything feel anymore.
It is wearing me down and tearing me apart.
I'm not happy with my current situation (career) at the present.
I am blessed to have it.
It has been good to me.
I am here for my family.
Set my own hours/policies.
But I am so burnt out.
I have to admit...
It's not just the job either.
That "not good enough" feeling sneaks into other aspects of my life too.
Without going into too much detail...
It's kind of that "always being second best" feeling with everyone.
EVERYONE.
It can be hurtful...
Irritating...
Maddening...
But, I thank God for my husband and sons.
They get me through it all.
I live for them.
So anyway...
I haven't had a pity-party in a while...so I guess I was due, LOL!
But...
Here's to new beginnings!
Cake decorating here I come!
Maybe THIS will just be my thing!
Please God?