Mornings are tough...I'm not me in the morning...

Mornings are really tough for me.

I'm not a morning person.

I don't like getting up in the morning.

I don't like talking to people in the morning.

I don't like being all happy and chipper in the morning.

I HATE MORNINGS.

I am a night owl.
You'll find me wired and at my best between the hours of 10:00pm and 2:00am.
This is my personal "best time".
I am happy and productive between these hours.
If I could go back to working second shift, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
But with children now, I would never see them.
I now work first shift for the loves of my life...my children.
But I hate that I'm just dragging.
I hate that I have to literally FIGHT not to be grumpy.
I have to greet clients in the morning and be all happy and chipper...and I feel like such a fake because in my mind, I'm so sleepy and tired and out of it...I just feel like saying, "GO AWAY, I'M TIRED, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE RIGHT NOW!"

People say, "Go to bed earlier."
I say, "It won't help."
I am a night owl.
I thrive at night.
I get so much done after my boys are in bed.
Dishes, laundry, etc.
And I'm so happy!

I wish I could be happier in the morning.
It's crazy...
Today I woke up, thinking about a situation that is coming up...one that I'm not too happy about...and I was ornery and grumpy.
Now...two hours later...I am looking at it totally different.
I'm more alert, I'm more awake...and I'm thinking, "It's ok, I can handle this situation...I don't really like it...but we'll make the best of it."
It's like, when I wake up early in the morning, a totally different person has hold of me.
I hate it.
Everything looks better later in the day.
Not even that MUCH later in the day.
Just give me a couple hours...say...9:00am or 10:00am...and my whole outlook changes!
I'm more positive.
I'm more happy.
I'm more chipper.
I'm thinking "I can handle anything that God gives me."

I wish I could change the "morning me".
I hate it.
But I have ALWAYS been this way.
I remember waking up for school back when I lived at home and my mom saying I was so grumpy.
I remember telling her, "Just don't talk to me right away. Give me time to wake up and I'll be fine. Let me just work through it."
And I did.
I just have a hard time being around people early in the morning.
It's not a situation where going to bed earlier would help...there is just something about getting up early (and by that I mean anything before 9:00am)...that my mind and body reject.
I am crabby and unproductive.
I can't move fast.
I can't get motivated.
I do a pretty good job of putting on a happy face for people, for the most part.
There are days when my hubby says, "You weren't very friendly to ______" or "The way you worded that wasn't very positive" or "Your body language said otherwise".
I try.
I really do.
So...if I have ever been unfriendly, offended anyone, or you mistook me for rude in the morning...I do appologize.
Just know, that it's not you...it's me.
And you'll probably see a completely friendly, smiling person a few hours later (one that's REAL and not forced).
All I can do right now is...To ask God to help me through my mornings...
Drink lots of coffee...
And pray I make to 9:00am or 10:00am when Ms. Happy kicks in.
Here's to a productive day!