The Working Mom...

The Working Mom...
What a heated topic.
One that...if we were all smart...we'd not tackle from one side or the other...but trying to possibly understand and respect each others' point of view.
First, I need to define the term "working mom" just for this post's sake.
When I say "working mom" in this post, I am referring to the mother that has an additional "paying responsibility" outside of her mothering and homemaking responsibilities.
The "stay at home mom" or "sahm" as many refer to them as, may take offense at times when people ask them if they work, if they have a job, etc.
It is understandable, because being a mother and homemaker is A LOT of work.
However, I think we all KNOW, that when someone poses this question...they are not asking it to get a rise out of us. They simply want to know if you also have a career outside the home, in addition to your mothering and homemaking responsibilities.
No one would argue that mothering and homemaking is a huge task. Taking care of a child, cleaning the home, running errands, cooking, etc. are a lot of work.
No one would ever challenge how much work that is...especially many of the dads who are now staying home and either helping out, or becoming "stay at home dads" during these crazy economic times. I think both parents have a pretty good idea how much work it is now!
But my only defense, as the "working mom", is just posing a question to those who have never worked outside the home or may have never worked outside the home since becoming a mother.
My defense is...
Imagine all you do being a mother and homemaker.
Chasing after your toddler, changing countless diapers, calming your fussy baby, feeding your children, giving baths, doing laundry, washing dishes, picking up toys, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, making beds, changing sheets, cooking dinner, running errands, scheduling appointments, volunteering at school, the ENDLESS things you do...
Imagine all those things...
Now...
Imagine having to do all those things...
But imagine coming home at 5:30 in the evening.
You've dealt with irritating colleagues, a fussy boss, deadlines, paperwork, manual labor, a strained back, traffic, a headache, the ENDLESS things that come with a position outside the home (or inside if you work from home).
You get home...
Your "work day" is over.
And NOW...
You get to try to fit in all the things I just named above...
Cleaning, cooking, bathing, children, family time, homework, etc.
After 40+ hours of work...you "get to" squeeze all that in on top of your "work week".
So...
I don't argue with the stay at home mom who says it's a full time job.
It most definitely is.
All I ask...is that you consider the moms who come home and have to fit in everything named above after 5:30...exhausted, cranky, yet wanting to spend time with her family...yet feeling guilty about how messy her home is getting.
And before we attack the working mothers...
Let us remember...
In the economy we're living in, the vast majority of working mothers now, are working NOT because they WANT to...they're doing it because they HAVE to.
Maybe dad lost his job.
Maybe dad's job just doesn't bring in enough financially and mom is helping out.
I don't begrudge these women at all.
They are doing what they have to do!
I ADMIRE working mothers!
They are helping their family financially in these dire times!
I AM A WORKING MOTHER!
I have to say, my husband and I have always been blessed...we have always either worked opposite shifts, so we were able to avoid daycare (except during our one hour overlap in which we had wonderful caregivers). And now, we work from home and are here for our children again.
But I guess the "moral" of this post...is that we all need to respect each other.
Working mothers are not bad mothers.
Stay at home mothers are not better mothers.
We all do what we have to do, to make the best possible decisions for our family.
So let's all respect each other.
Not judge each other.
Love each other.
Help each other.
Imagine...if all the working mothers and all the stay at home mothers actually supported each other...oh what a happy world it would be!