Passion...

Passion...
As I sat and watched American Idol tonight...I think I answered a lifelong question of mine.
I sat and watched these kids who didn't make it cry and weep and get so upset.
And I thought, "Move on...it's a reality show."
But for some, I know it's more...it's their only shot of possibly making it big.
Singing is their passion.
I only WISH I had that same kind of passion for something...anything...
I can play the piano...and I wish I was better...but do I have the drive to practice and do what it takes to be better?
I can scrapbook...but my pages are simple...laid out...journaled...but nothing fancy.
I can stamp...but my cards are plain...where is the creativity?
I can knit on my looms...but I always seem to drop at least one stitch.
I can do alot...but I can't do any one thing GOOD.
I like doing all those things...but maybe I'm not good at any of them because I don't have the "passion" for them?
So, am I supposed to ask myself what I REALLY want to be passionate about?
I don't know.
I've always wanted to play the violin.
I've always wanted to learn cake decorating.
But then I step back in fear.
Fear that those things will just be another thing I add to my list of "so-so" things that I can do.
I suppose I need to really get it together.
Find something.
I need something.
Something for ME.
Something JUST for ME!
I don't know if I have the money to put into a violin and the lessons.
Cake decorating I would LOVE to learn.
And to be able to make cakes for people as well!
That would be awesome.
But I just don't know if I have any creative juices in my body.
Like I said, I can do a little of this, and a little of that.
I just putz and dabble.
It's very frustrating.
So...
I keep searching.
And until I find my passion...
I keep searching.