Safe...

Safe.
Maybe it's something I take for granted at times.
But I was thinking lately, about the feeling I get when I'm with my husband.
I don't think about it much.
But sometimes it hits me...how safe I feel when I'm with him.
I think of the times he's worked third shift...OH how I HATE when he works third shift!!!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I HATE THE DARK!
And more than anything...I hate being ALONE in the dark.
I remember back before we had kids and he worked third shift...I would leave the porch light on and the kitchen sink light on while I was sleeping.
I remember after I had Evan and he was a baby...I'd set up the pack & play in our bedroom and have him sleep in our room. I'd have the closet light on, the microwave light on, a lamp in the living room, and both the front and back porch lights.
Even all these years later...the few times he's had to work third shift, I usually turn out the lights...but I'll fall asleep with the tv on.
I don't like the dark and I don't like being ALONE in the dark.
Especially sleeping.
If I'm awake...with all the lights on at night...it doesn't bother me at all.
But when he's home...asleep next to me...or just anywhere in the house...
I don't even think about the dark.
I have complete and total comfort.
I feel safe.

The funny thing is, we don't even live in a bad neighborhood.
In fact, we live in a very nice neighborhood.
But I still need my hubby at night.
And actually, it's not just at night.
I always have such a feeling of safety no matter when he's with me.
It's like I totally let go of myself.
I let my guard down.
I know he's there.
I don't have to worry.
I like feeling like I'm being protected...taken care of.
The few times he's been sick, injured, or had to go to the hospital...
I've managed.
I hold down the fort.
I get by.
But I don't feel the same.
I feel jittery.
I feel out of control.
Things just don't feel "right".
I need my hubby.
He is my everything.
I love him so much!