September 11...

September 11...
As we pause each year, and stop and reflect...I have heard and seen some people become very non-chalant about it...almost as if...it was so long ago, how can we keep bringing this up every year?

That really bothers me.
This was such a huge attack on our country.
And it was so personal to me.

It has become one of those huge historical events where we all remember exactly where we were and what we were doing at the time. For me...I was working at Johnson Controls, Inc. back then. I remember being on line working and our "runner" came flying down the aisle telling us about the plane that crashed into the first tower. At first, even though I was shaken...I really didn't get fearful...yet...it was terrible...but in MY mind, I was thinking a possible "accidental" crash.

And then she came back. Telling us about the second plane. That is when I got a little worried. We still didn't have any information. In the plant we didn't have any access to tv/radio except in the break room.

By the time someone came over and told us the rest of the news...
I was in near panic.
My mind was spinning out of control.
Fear.
Complete and utter fear.
What was going on?
I was experiencing shear terror, but said nothing.
I just wanted to leave and go get my babies from daycare.



I remember making it through the rest of the day at work and going to pick up the boys. Evan was 5 years old. Nathan was just 1 year old. That entire day, I think I was shaking...literally shaking.

I came home...tried to carry on like normal...getting the boys snacks, letting them watch cartoons on the other tv...getting dinner ready...etc. But I couldn't pull myself from the news. I was addicted. I couldn't stop watching it. Over and over again I watched them replay it, waiting for more information.
The first night after it happened...I remember waking up in the middle of the night hearing planes fly overhead. That terrified me again...as I knew all planes were supposedly grounded. I am only assuming it may have been military.




For the next few weeks, unbeknownst, to anyone else...I fell into a sort of depression.

I had so much fear.
So much confusion.






This lasted for about a month.

I started moving on.
But was still very fearful.






Then, the craziest thing happened. It may sound silly to some. But for me, it was a little "God-send". I remember going out to get the mail. And it had been raining. It had stopped. And the most beautiful DOUBLE rainbow appeared in the sky. Full size...you could see from one end to the other. I had never seen anything like it in my life. And I've seen a lot of rainbows. It was like the fear and depression instantly lifted. I felt a peace. And a calm. I walked inside with the mail. And my little Evan had his cd playing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands". And it was like I felt this voice...from God...reminding me..."I am still with you...I have never left you." And I instantly felt joy. Some may call it corny. But in my little world, it's those little reminders from God that really help me.









So as we continue to reflect today...let us NEVER forget...let's never become non-chalant...let's continue to hold the memory of those lost in our heart...and be grateful to all who serve us.